I used to safeguard my feelings with a lock and key. I convinced myself that I didn’t want to share my feelings because I had to protect them to keep others from hurting me. In reality, I was just ashamed of my feelings. I was ashamed of being myself. I was just ashamed.
My aggressive self-awareness made it impossible for me to get out of my head. And because I was always in my head, I could clearly sense the stark difference between other girls and me.
Other girls could ask the same question I asked, but something about them demanded attention and respect while something about me didn’t even warrant an upwards glance. Other girls walked the streets like it was a catwalk. I could barely walk down the street once I felt the gaze of a stranger.
It took me a long time to get over this injustice. A part of me felt like I should stay the same and the world should just accept me as I am: insecure, unconfident, and too self-aware. The types of women I’m going to talk about today showed me the error in this thinking. Accepting my flaws because I wanted “to be myself” was just a cop-out. Of course, no one is perfect, but to stay the in my old ways is akin to condemning myself to being afraid of my shadow.
Though each of these of women has different qualities that make her special, there is one thing that strings them together: They don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks.
So… yea.. mad respect for that…
They are unapologetically themselves and empowered me to be the same. And, if they can teach me something maybe they can do the same for you.
1) She says what’s on her mind.
She the kind of woman that believes that showing her weakness does not make her weak. She knows that everything she feels is important. Feeling cold is imperative to feeling warm.
She has no fear of attacks because secrets can’t be used against her. And because she see’s the world clearly, she knows that she’s never alone.
Though she says what’s on her mind, she does not use it as an excuse to be rude, offensive, or insensitive. She uses her thoughts to get a better understanding of the person she’s talking to. She doesn’t preach nor is she trying to convert her listeners. She just wants to be real. If her realness is in opposition to your realness, she moves along to someone who’ll better fit into her tribe.
She speaks her mind because she is proud of herself and how she feels. She wouldn’t settle for relationships that belittle or dismiss her.
2) The spotlight loves her.
She’s the kind of woman that posts pictures of her fails and successes because… why the hell not? She doesn’t do it for attention; she’s just too busy experiencing life to be self-conscious. She already knows herself; therefore, she doesn’t feel the need to prove it to anyone. Her natural state is realness, and you’ll see what she stands through her actions.
Something about her nonchalance towards attention makes you want to give her more of it. You can’t look away.
Though you want nothing more than to give her your attention, when you’re around her, you feel like you’re the center of the universe. She empowers others to shine their brightest because it’s not in her nature to judge.
The spotlight loves her because it’s a phenomenon to see someone so authentic. She shines because she loves life, wants to experience all the facets of life, and does so unabashedly while welcoming anyone with the courage to join her.
3) She takes charge.
She’s the one people look to when the room goes silent because all have witnessed her outstanding track record of honesty and integrity. She’s not afraid to say what needs to be said. She does it out of love for her team and because the right thing isn’t always popular.
In everything, she is calm, confident, clear. When she assigns a task, she provides purpose, direction, and motivation. She doesn’t stand over your shoulder and micromanage your every click of the keypad. She gives you room to complete the task like the adult you are.
She’s the leader, but she recognizes the contributions others have made to her success. She attracts and retains top-notch team members and isn’t afraid to let them know their worth. You always know where you stand with her because she sees the value in having adults work for her as opposed to children.
She takes charge because she has vision. She sees a task laid out before her and she relishes the opportunity to approach it creatively. She loves what she does and makes you love it too.
4) She cares about the world.
She’s the kind of woman that does what she can and finds purpose in being of service to others. She seems superhuman though that is not her intention. She’s as ordinary as they come and knows that any person can make a difference.
Most of what she does for others, you will never know. She doesn’t help others for validation or praise; she does it because of her strong moral compass. She knows that all acts are important, no matter how small.
She doesn’t have to be the one to make the change. She knows her limits and will gladly step aside when a more qualified candidate appears. She does not seek glory. She seeks justice.
When you’re around her, you can’t help but care and support her causes. She cares about the world and knows that she can make a difference. Her passion will leak on you. Being a friend to her is likely one of the best decisions you’ll ever make, and slowly but surely you’ll become a better person.
5) She makes her dreams come true.
She’s the kind of woman that will overcome any obstacle in the pursuit of her passion. When she sees a challenge, she is not intimidated by how large it may be. She slices it down into little parts and gets to work. She knows that she must put one foot in front of the other thus does not get caught up in how far away she stands at the moment. Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all
She has total confidence in herself because she knows that if it can be done, she can do it. She doesn’t need to tear people down to validate herself. In fact, being around her makes others believe that anything is possible.
If she comes up short, she is not ashamed to ask for help. She’s willing to learn because she knows that knowledge is power.
She takes care of herself because she believes in balance. Ambition is but a component of what fulfills her. She seeks fulfillment in friendships, family, health, and wealth with the same intensity.
She makes her dreams come true because she knows that she’s worth it. All around her wish her the best because she remains humble no matter how awesome her achievement.
These ladies exhibit qualities that anyone could admire. For me, it has been a pleasure just to be witness to their awesome. I’ve seen enough people possess these qualities that I finally believe it’s possible for me to be this cool too. Hehee.
Which lady was your favorite? Is there a type of woman you admire that I didn’t mention? Let us know about her.
If you loved what you read, please like the Curious Queendom Facebook page. Thank you for your support.